Al-Anon Family Groups, Al-Anon and Alateen are a fellowship of men, women and children whose lives have been affected by the compulsive drinking of a family member or friend.

Whether or not the alcoholic has found sobriety, the family and friends can do a great deal to help themselves as well as the alcoholic:

Purpose
Each Al-Anon Family Group has one purpose: to help families and friends of alcoholics. This is achieved by:

• Offering comfort, hope and friendship to the families and friends of compulsive drinkers.
• Providing the opportunity to learn to grow spiritually through living by the Twelve Steps adopted from Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).
• Sharing experience in coping with the disease of alcoholism and learning how the Al-Anon program helps us to give understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic.

Membership in an Al-Anon group and regular attendance at meetings had shown us new ways to deal with our problem. We have found friends who understand. We have become part of a constructive program to achieve personal fulfillment and a new way of life.

In Al-Anon we seek to improve ourselves. We learn that our growth and serenity depend on not criticizing or condemning the alcoholic or discussing the alcoholic's shortcomings with others.

Strict avoidance of gossip preserves group unity and protects the anonymity of our members and those of AA. Our program is spiritual, but not religious.

Suggestions for Newcomers
Learn to accept the fact that alcoholics suffer from an illness they cannot control. Try to avoid nagging, scolding and arguing. It doesn't help; it hurts - both you and the alcoholic.

Involve yourself in Al-Anon work; helping others helps you, too.

Search out your own shortcoming and try to correct them. Later you will find that you can detach your mind from your troubles, a sign of real progress.

Meditate daily on Al-Anon's simple slogans:

• First Things First
• Live and Let Live
• ïEasy Does It
• Let Go and Let God

Learn more about alcoholism by reading Al-Anon literature available at our meetings. Pamphlets are provided, while books can be purchased or found in libraries.

Avoid complaining about the alcoholic's faults and gossiping about Al-Anon and AA members. It hinders your personal progress.

If the Alcoholic is in AA
Be willing to cooperate with the alcoholic's efforts to get and maintain sobriety in AA, but do not interfere or advise. Alcoholics have a better chance of success when left free to work out their own problems.

Overcoming the obsession to drink requires an equally strong drive toward involvement in AA. Graciously accept an alcoholic's need to spend much time at meetings and in doing Twelfth Step work (helping others).

When the alcoholic is busy with AA, you can cure the lonely, left-out feeling by becoming active in Al-Anon. There you will find others who have used the Al-Anon program to adjust to the many changes sobriety brings.

Have patience -and then more patience. Sometimes it's harder to bear with daily petty irritations than it is to deal with big problems.

Don't be discouraged if progress is slow. Some alcoholics take longer to be restored to health than others. Don't expect immediate personal readjustment. The distorted relationships, which resulted from drinking, will still leave many personal problems to be ironed out. Patience and understanding will help.

Have faith. Don't let yourself doubt, even during slips. The AA fellowship has a long history of success with cases that seemed hopeless.

The Twelve Steps
The Steps are studied in-depth at Al-Anon meetings and daily practice of them is recommended of all members. Whether or not the problem drinker is a member of AA, these Steps can be a rewarding way of life for the alcoholic's family.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
8. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
9. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
10. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
11. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

You can start an Al-Anon group
If there is no Al-Anon group near you can start one. Any two or three relatives of friends of alcoholics, who need and want Al-Anon help, are sufficient to start an Al-Anon group, provided that as a group, they have no other affiliation outside of Al-Anon. The Al-Anon World Service Office will provide material to help plan the meetings, and a registration from that should be completed and promptly returned to the WSO. This will make it possible for the group to benefit from the many services provided by the WSO.

Al-Anon meetings usually are opened with a moment of silence and closed with a prayer. They are led by a chairman who calls on members who tell how Al-Anon helps them.

Maximum benefits come from emphasis on spiritual growth and the acquiring of loving attitudes, rather than dwelling on the alcoholic's faults.

Most groups pass a basket for contributions to cover local expenses. Three times a year the individual membership is asked to contribute to the support of AI Anon's World Service.